Selfish v. Selfless

I’ve heard that the definition of humility is thinking of yourself less. That would mean that selfish is the opposite––thinking of yourself more. Which one are you?

The other night, I did a selfish thing, that could have had serious ramifications to a new relationship/friendship if I hadn’t tried to smooth it over and take responsibility for a crazy action immediately afterwards. The relationship is intact, and so far, so good.

But the goofy thing was, I did it because I was selfish. I thought of myself more. It wasn’t until I’d already done the deed that I began to think of the consequences. I’m not going to tell you the specifics of what I did, because it’s personal, but I’m hoping you’ll see where I failed, and can learn from my mistake.

The silly thing I did––was because I’m becoming fearless and bold. Even a year ago, I probably would never have done it. If I told you , you wouldn’t probably think it was stupid––although it’s possibly not something you would do. I didn’t think it was stupid at the time. Until…I started thinking about how my decision would affect others.

When that happened, I quickly texted the person most affected, to tell them. At first, she was a bit wary, as well she should be. Her unselfish concern was for someone else who has already passed away, and for others she knows that would be greatly affected.

What I did was send an email to a particular place. If the results came back in the most positive way, the public ramifications could be somewhat negative in a way, even though it’s a positive “event.”

Because it’s a holiday weekend, I haven’t heard back from them, and I may not hear for quite a while. In the meantime, I’ve been assuring the person I texted that I would do everything in my power to shield the person they’re protecting…the person who is deceased, who cannot speak for themselves. They can’t speak, but the person I texted is a relative of theirs, guards their memory and reputation.

I’m saying all this to say––think before you act. I need to do that more. Generally, I do believe I consider the consequences before I act, but I’d been thinking of sending this particular email for several weeks. What I should have done was talk to the person I finally texted first, and discuss it with her. She’s all right with what I did now, and if a certain thing happens, thinks it might be kinda fun. But I’ll still be cautious.

Think before you act. Check your own heart. Contemplate the consequences of your action(s) before doing what it is you want to do. The last thing I want to do is cause pain. That should also be your goal.

Have you done someone impulsive lately? Without much thought? Leave a comment and let me know.

2 Comments on “Selfish v. Selfless”

  1. Hi Donna, yes, in the past I said & did many unwise things. In the past 10 years or so, I’ve been a lot more careful to “think before I speak”, considering the pain that rash words often cause. More on this later…love you always & thanks for sharing your heart & being so transparent!


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