Plunging the Depths of Deep POV –– Part VII
from Flickr
Let’s continue our tumbling into the fathoms of our subject. Writing in Deep POV helps us to “show” rather than “tell.” Click to Tweet #amwriting #DeepPOV
We’ve already talked some about this when dealing with telling verbs and emotions. Let’s take that a step further. Describe things from your POV character would talk or think about them. Remember, we’re inside the character’s head, so we want to think (like) that character and show things from their thoughts, etc. You’ll want to use the character’s thoughts and language style.
Example:
As Carlita entered the kitchen, a piece of carrot hit her on the side of her face. “Aunt Roz, be careful with your chopping! That one almost hit me in the eye.”
Mrs. Umberto paused her mile-a-minute dicing of the chef knife with an Italian sabre-like flourish. “Sì, sì, il mio prezioso angelo. Did you get the job?” She had a habit of slipping in and out of Italian. At least she knew it meant “Yes, yes, my precious angel.”
Explanation
Carlita would never think of her aunt as Mrs. Umberto, would she? No, she wouldn’t. In her POV, it would remain Aunt Roz. This becomes more distant and more like a narrator is “telling” us who Mrs. Umberto is, instead of showing us it’s Aunt Roz.
Fix
As Carlita entered the kitchen, a piece of carrot hit her on the side of her face. “Aunt Roz, be careful with your chopping! That one almost hit me in the eye.”
Her aunt paused her mile-a-minute dicing of the chef knife with an Italian sabre-like flourish. “Sì, sì, il mio prezioso angelo. Did you get the job?” There she goes again, slipping in and out of Italian like she was roller skating. At least she knew what it meant. “Yes, yes, my precious angel.”
An easy way is to write a scene in first person. I may have mentioned that before. In writing first person, you become that character. Their thoughts, reactions, and emotions are what you need to convey.
Next week, we’ll wrap this up. Is this helping? Leave a comment and let me know. Instead of “telling” something, make the reader work to discover clues about your characters. Click to Tweet #amwriting #DeepPOV
Donna L.H. Smith 