Rejection Issues, Writing Emotion

Addendum to APD Series

I realized that I’d forgotten to address certain symptoms of APD and what they look like––plus, how to deal with them, whether you’re the person with APD or a loved one or friend. At the root of APD is some sort(s) of childhood trauma(s). But finding acceptance heals. Click to Tweet #APD #rejection

Shyness is not just being an introvert, as most writers will say they are. Shyness associated with APD has deeper implications. I was very shy as a child. I’ve talked about that before on this blog. My Aunt Juanita seemed to terrify me––all 5’1” of her. I loved my Aunt Juanita when I stopped being afraid of her. She was really a very sweet person. I used to hide behind Mom’s skirts though around her. Rejections of any kind hurt. But when you have APD, as I believe I did, before I was born, I was afraid of people I didn’t know.

Hypersensitivity to rejection or criticism. People who suffer from APD need acceptance and handling with care –– to help them get past the pain. We take every rejection personally, because our work is “us.” So, if you criticize us because our work is subpar, we hear it as “we,” as a person, are subpar. Especially if the criticism isn’t constructive, it will be very destructive to those suffering from APD. Which leads us to…

Severe low self-esteem. Because people suffering from APD are usually bullied, either physically or emotionally, or both––sometimes it’s all we can do to have any kind of balanced thought about ourselves. I believe it’s also easy for APDers to suffer from pie-in-the-sky delusions of grandeur. Once we begin to think something good will actually happen to us––well then, let’s reach for the stars that we will never be able to get to. That leads to disappointment, more rejection, more self-loathing.

Inferiority complex. Because we’re constantly being derided and degraded and bullied by the world around us, not only do we feel poorly about ourselves, we’ll make sure we feel poorly. We’re never good enough, and we never will be. Some of us give up and give in to our fears, and we are loners. APDers often feel lonely because their circle is so small. Here’s a phrase I understand, and it seems almost opposite to what the APDer feels. “although others may find the relationship with them meaningful.” I’ve had several people tell me that I’m the only one who understands them. And their issues aren’t necessary rejection issues. But APDers seem to have an empathy with others.

We’re always looking for that connection. It took me years to realize that I make connections actually too quick, sometimes. That “normal” people make them a lot slower. Or––I don’t get to make the connections I want because I’m “tongue-tied.”

Someday, I’m going to write a book about all this, plus other recent revelations since that may also play into this. At any rate, I believe this is one of the issues I can speak to because I have it. I believe I’m healed from the worst pain. I haven’t been tested in it for a while, so things are pretty rosy right now. APD is something to be healed. It touches the emotional core of the one who has it. Unconditional love works wonders. Click to Tweet #APD #rejection

Rejection Issues, Writing, Writing Emotion

APD Part XI––You’re Fired, Part II

I so enjoyed giving a break to all my negative APD stuff by talking about what’s happening now. I’ll do that again soon. Getting fired from a job with APD is tantamount with being rejected as a human being. Click to Tweet #amwriting #rejection #APD

From Wikipedia:

  • Problems in occupational functioning

Continue reading “APD Part XI––You’re Fired, Part II”

Encouragement, Rejection Issues

APD Part X––You’re Fired

Last week, I alluded to a series of job failures from the time I graduated college. I was in grad school when the first occurred. Misunderstandings and miscommunications in the workplace are a symptom of APD. Click to Tweet #amwriting #rejection #APD

From Wikipedia:

  • Problems in occupational functioning

Continue reading “APD Part X––You’re Fired”

Emotion, Encouragement, Inspirational, Writing, Writing Emotion

APD Part VIII––The Blessing of ORU

If I thought high school was good, Oral Roberts University, (yes, I went there all four years) was a huge blessing in my life. The blessing of being with other Christian students and learning more of God was incredible. I experienced much more acceptance and healing while at ORU, with virtually no rejection. Finding the right learning community is important, especially for those with rejection issues. Click to Tweet #amwriting #rejection #APD

Continue reading “APD Part VIII––The Blessing of ORU”

Emotion, Inspirational, Rejection Issues, Writing, Writing Emotion

APD Part VII––High School Grace

Finally, when I entered high school, which in my case, was when I was a sophomore, I began to understand the tease and how to give it back, without insult, and without rejection. During high school, I managed to find a small group of other girls who were Christians, of good character, and sweet natured. It was a blessed relief from the pain of junior high. Helping those with rejection issues to find a small group of loyal friends assists healing. Click to Tweet #amwriting #rejection #APD

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Blogging, Emotion, Rejection Issues, Writing, Writing Emotion

APD Part VI––Youth Trip Nightmare

Rejection page logoJust when I thought I would survive junior high, my mother practically forced me to go on a weekend trip to Arkansas with other youth from our church. The girls were fine. The boys were a nightmare. Have you ever been constantly harassed with nowhere to go? No escape is possible. Imagine a six-hour bus trip with non-stop insults from stupid junior and senior high boys. Click to Tweet. #amwriting #rejection #APD

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Emotion, Rejection Issues, Writing, Writing Emotion

APD Part V––Fickle Friend

Rejection page logoChildhood friendships can either be rewarding or quite painful. I had one friend I grew up with in elementary school, who once we entered junior high, decided I wasn’t good enough for her. I’m writing about these experiences from my past to share insights about why APD is so very hurtful. But with hope for healing, the pain can be released. Click to Tweet #amwriting #rejection #APD

Continue reading “APD Part V––Fickle Friend”