I’ve had my share of life’s hurts and disappointments, and whenever something would happen, I would respond in all the wrong ways. I’d be angry, hurt, and wounded for a long time. I mentioned three words last week that are My Three Leys to Heal: 1) forgive 2) release 3) move on. I’ll be talking about those today. Click to Tweet #forgivereleasemoveon #threekeys
I also mentioned that we must respond to the unmet expectations of life in ways that create solutions by finding ways to heal the wounds of letdowns and injustices. Having expectations is normal and not the problem. How we deal with these unmet disappointments is what can make or break our relationships. We need to be careful not to set in motion expectations that cannot be met which can lead to disappointment.
The last statement is the key. To that I add: forgive, release, move on.
Let’s look at Webster’s for definitions of the three keys—forgive, release, move on. These are my three keys to getting over a hurt. I’ve put them into practice a lot in the last few years, and it does help.
My biggest hurt was in 2006. I can’t go into it, but it was dramatic, life-changing, and very painful. It took me years to fully recover, even though early on I did as much as I could to “get over it.” The pain is now just a twinge, like a sore muscle just reminding you that it’s there, a regret that things didn’t work out the way I’d hoped.
I actually probably began developing My Three Keys during the last few years while dealing with this painful life hurt.
Forgive: to give up resentment against or the desire to punish, to stop being angry with. We need to forgive. Medical science has shown there is a relationship between our mental state and our physical health. Unforgiveness can cause breakdowns in vital physical processes that keep us healthy. It only hurts us when we don’t forgive. It doesn’t hurt the other person. They’re free, but we’re not if can’t forgive.
Release: to set free, as from confinement duty, work, to let go or let loose. We may heal from the worst of the pain of the hurt, but scar tissue can form in our souls if we don’t let it go. Releasing is part of the forgiveness process and it frees us. It frees our minds from constantly reliving the hurt and pain. It helps us heal, and sets us up for the next step.
Move on: to change the place or position of, to set or keep in motion; in advance, forward, ahead. I once met a woman who had stagnated. You know these people, for years they hold grudges, start or continue feuds, and keep “going round the mountain.” They never move forward. In high school, my first part in a play was of a young woman who couldn’t get over her fiancé’s death in WWII. This play was contemporary in the late 60s, early 70s. My character still wore clothing styles and hairstyle of the 1940s, because she didn’t want to let go. Something happened and she changed. She was able to move forward. That was the fun part—seeing the reactions of the other characters when the change occurred. Her speech, her clothing, her hair, her countenance—everything changed as she released the past.
It’s hard to do any one of these things, let alone all. When we’re hurting, the first thing we want to do is hurt someone else, or dump all our hurt and emotion on someone else. It’s okay to find someone you trust to help you process things, maybe a pastor, a counselor, a family member, or a trusted close friend.
But if you practice these three keys, I promise you’ll feel better and you’ll be free. Forgive, release, move on. Keys to freedom. #threekeys #forgivereleasemoveon Click to Tweet
What about you? Where are you in this journey? Leave a comment and let me know.