My Aunt Juanita didn’t know I could talk until I was five years old. I always hid behind my mother’s skirts, just like this little girl. I was extremely shy, one of the symptoms of rejection syndrome, which at that time, I didn’t even know existed, let alone realize it affected me. Through the years, I’ve had to try to get past my fear of rejection and talk to people I didn’t know. A shy person or someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD) finds it difficult to talk with people because they fear rejection. Click to Tweet #sanguineswitch #friendly #shyness
“They won’t like me.” “They won’t understand me.” “I have nothing in common with them.” These are excuses shy people make for not talking, and getting out of their comfort zones.
As I got older and learned a bit about the different personalities according to Florence Littauer, I learned that there was a “sanguine” personality who could talk to anyone and everyone without fear of having their feelings hurt. I wanted to be like that. I used to call it “flipping my sanguine switch” when I was in new social situations. It was easy for me to hide and be a wallflower. But if I intentionally flipped my “sanguine switch” I could be friendly and talk to people. I wasn’t a brilliant conversationalist, but I learned to become a good listener.
It was intentional on my part. Nowadays, I unconsciously flip it when in a new situation. Being friendly comes easier now. I still have a problem though. I don’t hear much out of my right ear, so anyone on my right side may be ignored for a while, until I can totally focus my attention on them, by turning their way. Then, my sanguine switch goes into operation, and I can be friendly.
This is a short piece this week. I’m getting ready to attend a writer’s retreat next week, and I’m still coordinating efforts to produce a writer’s conference in November. I’ll be meeting with a social media expert who is also a writer next week. I can’t wait to hear what she thinks I need to improve on, because I know I need to improve a lot, in just about everything. I’ve been on social media for six years, but it has never worked well for me. Maybe I’ll find out why, but in some ways I already know. Even on social media, you have to flip a sanguine switch. Be friendly, and befriend and connect with others.
Just know that if this applies to you, or you’re around someone who’s shy, just flip your “sanguine switch.” Those who are friendly have friends. That’s in Proverbs. Click to Tweet #sanguineswitch #friendly #shyness
What about you? Are you shy? If you are, why do you think so? Leave a comment and let me know.