How to Handle Criticism
I hope to bring a fresh perspective to a sensitive subject.
As writers, we’re regularly critiqued, edited, and otherwise told to change our text. It can get downright discouraging if we don’t have the proper attitude toward it. If we have rejection issues (like I do), it can feel personal, when it’s really not. #amwriting #criticism
It’s about our writing, not about us. Click to Tweet
For the last several months, I’ve been involved in a project which included three other writers. At first, it sounded fun and exciting. Our book proposal was accepted and we started writing our manuscripts. However, it was clear early on, I didn’t have a clue. I admit to having some sort of brain cramp in the beginning, but God showed me what I needed to do to correct my work.
On this project, I’ve had five sets of eyeballs critique my 95% re-write. That’s humbling and it’s valuable. It can be frustrating however, when as I call it “dueling editors” disagree on what words I should or should not use. At that point, it’s up to me to decide, but ultimately, the submitting agent has the last word.
Proverbs 15:31 says, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.” NLT Amplified says it this way, “The ear that listens to the reproof [that leads to or gives] life will remain among the wise.”
When we’re critiqued by others, sometimes we become over-sensitive. It’s easy to do. That’s why I say it’s not personal, yet we “take” it that way, don’t we?
As a person with rejection issues, I have to allow myself time to process and release the hurt, the anger, and other emotions. And I’ve had to deal with strange rejections…like the award-winning agent’s intern who didn’t know the difference between an administrative instruction and what they should actually type in an email rejection subject line…Or the conference organizers who didn’t have their facts straight about what contest winners and losers were or were not in attendance.
But I digress. This is about evaluation. And yet, we sometimes take criticism as rejection, when it’s not meant to be.
Criticism – It’s all in how we decide to handle it. Click to Tweet
Part of that is processing. I am fortunate and blessed to have a wonderful mentor (thanks DiAnn), a few close friends, and a wonderful husband I process my emotions with.
A couple years ago, I entered my novel in the Genesis contest. It hadn’t been edited professionally at that point, even though I’d been through it numerous times myself. It didn’t progress beyond the first round. Two of my scores were decent, but one judge in particular, gave me a low score and this remark. “I’m having trouble finding anything positive to say about this entry.” Ouch. Thankfully, my wonderful mentor gave me wise counsel.
She said, “Sometimes that happens. Take what you can from it; throw out what you don’t think is helpful.” After a couple months, I revisited those critiques from Genesis and used them to improve my novel.
The same is true for another contest I entered in which I was a semi-finalist. (This was the incorrect facts episode). I was given valuable criticism when I was ready to receive it.
And therein, is the crux of the matter. Depending on your emotional make-up, it can be sooner, or later. #amwriting #criticism
I’m trying to see how quickly I can process the negative and improve my projects. I forgive, release, and move on. Click to Tweet