I found this post from 2015. It published a week or so after my “Please Get Your Facts Straight” post — the highest viewed post in one day I’d ever had. What was the right thing to do? You tell me. Do you demand an apology for those who have hurt you? @donnalhsmith #rejectionissues #rejectionsymptoms #rejectionhope TWEETABLE
Forgive. Release. Advance.
If you remember from that post, I didn’t get a publishing award, even though it was said, “all the winners are here.” A very difficult weekend for me, but I got through it.
Here’s the rest of the post:
Some of you let me know by comment or email that you think I should “demand” or at least “ask for” an apology from conference organizers. But I’m not going to. Here’s why.
Sure, I could email those I think are responsible and tell them what happened and how it hurt me. I’m sure they would apologize. However, I think that’s the low road for me. My faith is in Christ. It didn’t surprise Him that this happened. I believe it was a test for me – to see how I would respond. I can respond really well in public, but by myself, I don’t do as well. I let it all hang out with God…my anger, my hurt, and my disappointment.
Recently, our pastor talked about being honest with God, and not trying to hide anything. I couldn’t if I tried. I’m an emotional woman and learning to control them has been my challenge most of my life. As I matured, I learned how to do so. I don’t try to hide anything from God. Sometimes, I might hide my true feelings from myself, but not usually for long.
But to demand or ask for an apology just because I was hurt—doesn’t sit well with me. I try to be a “quick forgiver.” Someone hurts me, I might avoid them or the situation for a while or hide, if you will, but I don’t hold the grudge. The pain may linger, but I always choose to forgive. I was taught that as a girl, and I continue to do so today.
Because I’ve learned that forgiveness is key. Jesus said a few things I want to share. In Matthew 7, He says not judge. That usually means to hold a grudge. Jesus also says, when asked how many times we should forgive, seventy times seven. And that’s in one day.
Another saying, unless we forgive men their trespasses, our heavenly Father cannot forgive ours. Ultimately, this is the important thing. The only “judgment” I give these people is the benefit of the doubt. I don’t hold their mistake against them, because I don’t want my mistakes held against me—and believe me, I’ve made plenty.
It’s ultimately the responsibility of each of us to live at peace inasmuch as it is possible for us individually. I know the conference organizers didn’t mean to hurt or mislead me. It’s just one of those things. My choice in the matter has always been how I would respond.
I’m taking the high road, and I believe it’s what Christ would want me to do. How about you? What do you think I should do? Forgive and forget – or ask for an apology? Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget the hurt, it just means you release it. @donnalhsmith #rejectionissues #rejectionsymptoms #rejectionhope TWEETABLE
Think about it. Leave a comment and let me know. And thanks for reading.