Jealousy & Envy — Rejection Issues REVISED Part IV
Are you jealous of what others have? Do you long to have more than you do? Have you ever acted on those feelings of envy? Can you be happy for someone else who got what you wanted? #rejectionissues #rejectionsymptoms #rejectionhope TWEETABLE
I never used to think I was jealous or envious of anyone. Until they got something I wanted for myself. Then the green-eyed monster within myself made my life miserable.
On the surface, I would appear to be happy for them. I might even tell them so.
But later, by myself, when no one was watching, I’d rail at God. Why? I don’t understand? Why them and not me?
Here’s an example. About five or so years ago, I was trying to become a published author. A young woman I know self-published and started getting speaking engagements to talk about her book.
She even got to teach at writer’s conferences! That’s what I thought I wanted to do! Be published. Teach at writer’s conferences.
I remember getting a brochure in the mail about a fairly large writer’s conference in our region that year. I’d already attended once, and got no where. But here she was—on the list to teach.
I was so angry, I threw the brochure in the recycle bin as soon as I saw her picture.
Why her? Why can’t I get published? Of course, I could have self-published. But that was always the “last resort.” (And frowned upon — “vanity” press). After all, I’d been trained by the best, and I should be good enough to be published traditionally, shouldn’t I?
I used to be that way in music ministry, too. Someone else would get a choir solo I wanted.
A woman I knew back then (the 90s) was the epitome of grace and encouragement. If she tried out for a solo and didn’t get it, she was extremely gracious about it. She would truly be happy for the person who got it.
I saw that and wondered how she could be that way. I wanted that graciousness. So, I tried it. And yet, there were a couple solos I really wanted that I didn’t get. It hurt.
See, because when you don’t get something you want—a person with rejection issues sees it as rejection. So, they’ll covet something they don’t have. And all the negative feelings that go with it.
Sigh. It only makes you more miserable. We have to let go. It’s not easy. But it will help us to grow and feel better—not only about ourselves, but others, too.
To finish my story—last year was one of the best of my life! I was published—and I taught at several different writer’s conferences, including the one I’d been so upset about years before.
It’s a matter of the heart. Your heart. Can you let go of jealousy and envy to truly rejoice with someone who has what you want? #rejectionissues #rejectionsymptoms #rejectionhope TWEETABLE
Have rejection issues affected you? Leave a comment and let me know.